Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Dancing With the Devil

Recently the facility I work at entered into an agreement to push GNC products - due in large part that one of our members holds one of the alphabet soup positions for GNC.

I'm your pusher!
Today it was time to stock up on product - or re-up as they used to say in the 'hood. So one of our employees returns with the usual assortment of fish oil, multi-vitamin and glucosamine-chondroitin - only to be accompanied by the latest and greatest supplement about to XPLODE....
Coconut Water

Apparently the stuff is the "new" Gatorade. Yippee do dah. With only one ingredient, at least it's not as processed as the "old" Gatorade- but really, nothing remarkable about it. No protein. No fat. Incomplete at best.

The scene that followed it's arrival however, was nothing short of disturbing. Supposedly educated health & fitness professionals with years of experience clamoring all over the stuff and the rest of the goodies like we were filming our on Christmas Story re-make. Unfortunately there was no Red Rider BB-Gun to shoot my eyes out, as it was a somewhat desireable outcome at the time.

But this is Pittsburgh, and Sidney Crosby is purported to be a fan of this magical water, so I really shouldn't be surprised. But surely as a surprise to most of you, I was able to withstand Sid the Kid's charm and not partake in the devouring of this precious coconut water. I guess I just felt I hadn't sufficiently depleted my glycogen stores with my HITT* session, and therefore wasn't worthy.

If this weren't enough to test my resolve we were also treated with GNC's latest issue of their Muscle & Body publication. Oh boy. The signs of the coming apocalyspe are plentiful today. Right on the cover is the nice big headline -

6 Top Supplements for Teens



Going the route of the tabacco companies with the Get 'em while they're young approach I guess. It's bad enough pushing the stuff on unsuspecting schmucks trying to re-live their high school glory days, but preying on teenagers kinda crosses a line somewhere in the ethical desert no? I don't begrudge anyone the opportunity to make money, but c'mon man.

Excuse me while I go grab a shower - I feel dirty.

*( High Intensity Interval Typing)

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